and so it begins... you know when everyone around you is advancing. moving up in the world. leaps and bounds ahead and far beyond anything you've done up to this point. progressing at an exceptionally high rate and there is nothing you can do to stop it. dating. marriage. babies. a higher education. and we're only 21! i feel as though i am so far behind and there is no hope of ever catching up. not that i want to be married with children at this point, but my life seems to have less meaning or at least feel as though i have done so little. nothing of importance or significance. my greatest feat has been to travel or to purchase a car. which are both in and of themselves fantastic achievements, but watching everyone get their degrees and find the man of their dreams and gain 40 lbs with a special someone inside, is almost depressing. what am i doing? where am i going? and why does it seem like this place has become more and more alien. not for me. this place being abbotsford. bc. maybe even canada. i feel ill-fitted to a world engulfed. absorbed. entrenched in what seems to be a normality i don't possess, a commonality that i don't share. order. planning. goals. i feel misconstrued. misunderstood. lost. alone. single. uneducated. with no idea as to where i'm headed, when upon first glance everyone seems to have it all figured out. they've all drawn out their map and marked x as the spot, whereas i've never even found my map to begin with. and this isn't a bad thing...
i just wish there was more clarity in the direction i'm to go in. more answers or bright lights. i'm content to be different. and without a plan. i feel there is no way i could be happy following the steps of what everyone else may call normal. i'll create my very own version of normal.
i feel as if my adventure is about to start... and that mine will look quite a bit different than most! for that i'm excited. ecstatic. i feel free as a bird. that there are endless possibilities awaiting. the world is my oyster so to speak. mine for the taking. if i see i can have it. where to go from here? i've not the slightest idea... but maybe that's the fun of it... the secret... therein lies the catch. go wherever your heart takes you... wherever you feel the wind whispering for you to follow... but just GO and God will do the rest...
