a poem.

i wanted to share some poetry with you. i am finally writing again... it has been so long... but i was sitting in Costa Coffee and God downloaded this poem to me... my hands have never written something that flowed so smoothly. without need to erase or rewrite or leave it unfinished, which i always find myself doing. here is the finished product...

your voice is like the morning dew

God whispers that He loves you

you are a precious daughter of the most high

He will never leave you, nor forsake you or make you cry

Jesus, his son died for your sins

He longs to draw you close to Him

You are beautiful and precious, unbelievably sweet

He will pick you up if you fall off your feet

Always know you can run to him

He is full of light, he will never grow dim

Jesus, he is the only way

to truth and life, he knows you by name

He rose again and is alive

He's coming back and wants you at his side

But the choice is yours, it's called free will

No matter what you choose he loves you still

He calls you lovely, radiant and stunning

He knows your heart and who you're becoming

His love for you it knows no end

He wants to be your savior, father and friend.

love to you all. <3

an update on life in paradise.

i just wanted to share this moment with you...

last Tuesday night mary, sarah and i went out for community outreach into downtown kona.. we were feeling exhausted, wanting very much to rest.. so we decided to sit on a rocky ledge overlooking a sandy volleyball court, with the ocean just across the street from us! -tough life, i know- but what attracted us to this spot was a mother in her mid-30s and her little daughter. eventually we struck up a casual conversation about life and work, her daughter and the future. and as our conversation wore on, little alexa became more and more comfortable with us.. she kept shyly approaching me and saying "five" and i would give her a high-five. it was adorable. then she became bold and starting pulling on my arm, wanting a playmate so badly, i caved and joined her in the sand. we rolled down the grassy hill and built sand castles, played follow the leader and made silly faces. but my most favorite moment with her was when i asked her if she knew who God was.. most of her responses she would exclaim "oh!" ... then i told her that he made the stars and the moon and the ocean and he even made you! i preceded to sing to her.. 'jesus loves me' and 'jesus loves the little children' - - - she smiled and giggled at some points, others she sat quietly, outwardly she wasn't very responsive. but i know that i know that i know one day she'll remember it. the seed was planted. and my heart was just bursting with God's love for this precious little girl. this daughter, whom God made in his image. God gave me a glimpse of his heart for her and for that i am so thankful... meanwhile mary and sarah were able to share the gospel and God's love to her mother. they prayed over her and exchanged phone numbers in the end.. they both said that she was extremely interested and seemed hungry for all that they had to say. it was a beautiful night of simple love. childlike love. God is so good.

side note: a super spontaneous pool party after our crazy Awaken dance party!!! i love my life!

photo cred. eric zoesch.

life on the base is steadily picking up speed... and all i want to do is yank on it's reigns to slow all these precious moments down. to press pause. to stop time and be in this place forever. but that is not possible. i have been soaking in every minute, and reveling in the friendships that have been blossoming over the summer months. with people, but especially Jesus. he is slowly but surely becoming my best friend. oh how i love him. this past weekend was a long weekend, it was so relaxing. i went cliff-jumping. swam in a couple pools. had a bbq at my leader, Kurt's family condo! for a moment i felt like i was on vacation in Hawaii. - - - i have a leader that i get to hang out with every week, who challenges me and walks through this insane journey with me. Eli is unbelievable! such a wonderful woman of God. so gentle, so sure of her faith. filled with God's heart for people. we spent Sunday afternoon together, talking about everything under the sun... and i ended up falling asleep on her couch. God is really dealing with my heart in a lovingly convicting way... i've been so challenged to have a servant heart. to stop looking inward and to start looking outside of myself. I'm reading Dan Bauman's book 'a beautiful way' and in it he says that "serving is the natural overflow of a life surrendered to God" and that "the more secure we are in ourselves and in our relationship with God, the freer we are to serve others"... i am so ready to cease gazing at myself, consumed with what i need or desire or crave or deserve... but instead to look towards loving others because i know that when i do that, to surrender and serve those around me, then i will have abundant joy. i will find that my character has altered drastically without even trying to change it. i don't know if that makes any sense, but i know that God is pressing upon my heart to serve. to love. to give up. my time alone has been enough. it's time to branch out. to reach out while standing firm in my identity which is found in Jesus. - - -16 days is my countdown and outreach is fast approaching.. my heart is being continually stirred up for the middle east. i am so beyond excited to see where God wants to take us. i know it's going to be nothing i'm expecting, but everything that i'm desiring. right at the moment my team is praying 6 times a day, we're rotating for each 'call to prayer' so that whenever they -our outreach nation- are praying to their God, we are praying to ours, interceding for them. it's been so good for us, to get involved before we head out. In other news... we have officially found housing for our outreach, until yesterday we had none. so that is a massive answer to prayer!! - - - my support all came in, praise Jesus! It's amazing how much living away from home, from security and comfort can make you so much more dependent on God for everything. an enormous Thank You to all who have been loving me from afar, i couldn't be more blown away at all the generous hearts that have been behind me in prayer and/or financially! love to you all. - karli

Galatians 5: 13b "Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love."

happythankyoumoreplease.

Wow where do i even begin. these past few weeks have been really challenging. stretching. emotionally draining. i've felt everything from disbelief to a restless spirit. to an indescribable joy! i know this is just part of my journey and this process is so completely crucial for my relationship with God. i am reading a book called "a beautiful way" by Dan Bauman.. i recommend it. it's all about simple love. focusing your eyes on Jesus and letting the rest stem from that love.

- - - i am blown away at my fellow students. we keep hearing that we are an entirely new breed of wild revivalists, the passion and hunger for god is bursting at the seams, it's so tangible

... and it seems that this positive peer pressure environment we've created is overwhelmingly contagious!

this week all the students split up into their outreach teams and went on a 'Faith Journey'. what that was going to look like we hadn't a clue in the slightest. so me and my team of five set off to spend the day listening to God's voice. open and sensitive to his leading, the game plan was to love on people wherever and however we could! we decided that the airport was where God wanted us to go, so we stuck out our well-used thumbs to hitch the next bunch of miles that lay North ahead of us. after waiting a good 20 minutes... some of the team was getting restless, doubting the airport decision, David said the magic words "i don't think we're getting a ride"... and a truck who had passed us earlier did a u-turn for us! already crammed with people, we jumped in the back, thankful for a ride and the wind in our faces.

...little did we know this truck was filled with a family from Texas who, if we hadn't started to talk about Jesus and our purpose for the day, they would have begun evangelizing to us! so the next few miles we conversed easily about our lives, we prayed over the 3 sitting in the back with us.. then as we were jumping out of the truck bed, the back window rolled down and one of the guys in the truck called to David, asking him for prayer about a possible promotion among other things and gave us all the money in his wallet, blessing us and encouraging us in our faith journey! wow. so we took a moment as they drove away to pray for melaud. (mee lawd) we covered the airport in prayers... and were excited for our 22 dollar blessing, we assumed was for lunch. (because we were supposed to rely on god for everything for the day) but as we walked past a lei shop, it was as if i had been hit over the head with the most obvious notion. we were to buy lei's and bless people with them as they arrived! turned out Whitney had the same exact thought. her eyes lit up as i told the group what God wanted us to do. so we walked in and bought 4 of the prettiest smelling lei's. we prayed over some airports workers. waited as planes came in. and prayed over the lei's to see who God wanted us to bless. i knew i was to give mine to a mother in her 30's with straight, blunt shoulder-length brown hair. so i waited. she wasn't on the first plane. so we waited over an hour for the second to arrive! and there she was. it was so much fun greeting people as they came off the plane. just bringing in that atmosphere of love made me smile all the more. i was so blessed to work alongside God at the airport. we helped some people with their luggage. and then were off.

we hadn't eaten and were starving so we hitched back to Kona and ended up at mcdonalds. we were able to rest. to bond as a team. the entire afternoon we found ourselves doing just that. regrouping made us realize we didn't need to strive to be in God's will. we didn't need to be desperate or deliberate about anything. just live our lives with him at the center, ready and willing to serve with open hearts. we didn't have to push our agenda or make something happen. so we just sat and enjoyed each others company. making the trek back home... we had spent 8 hours away from campus and were ready to jump into the pool! and that's just what we did.

we are now in the midst of a 50 hour burn. prayer and worship for 50 hours as a school!! so far it's been fantastic. just burning for the Lord. in community with everyone. re-focusing our eyes on Jesus. interceding for our outreach nations. only 25 more hours to go!

i just received my itinerary for outreach. i leave on the 22nd of September for the Middle East! i am so excited to see what God has for us come September. Thanks so much for your prayers and support. love to you all. karli.

you make beautiful things.

HEY guys... so i haven't blogged in ages, but things are about to change... i want to start a weekly update blog. i'm living in Hawaii for the next couple months and want to share with the world exactly what it is that i'm doing here... i'm living on the University of the Nations base, at Ywam (youth with a mission) as a student. I have 4 incredible room-mates and some unbelievably inspiring speakers... the leaders here are so crazy and so full of jesus... it's so contagious and tangible and i am so stoked to be here. We have worship so many times a week i can't even keep track... i am seriously being changed and stretched and transformed. My mind is being blown! There are around 90 students and we live a mere 5-10 minutes from the ocean and can see it from the campus, our sunsets are always breath-taking! still cannot believe i live here!! everyone here wants jesus so badly that i can't help but be spurred on towards him... i love it here. one of my little girls from the daycare wrote me a goodbye card and in it she said "happy university vacation" and that is what it feels like. i am so blessed to be here, to be surrounded by so many encouraging and beautiful people, whose hearts shine so brightly.. we have a saying here when we are so touched or moved.. we get wrecked! i have never encountered jesus like i have here and it hasn't been anything huge or obvious, it hasn't even been falling to the ground or physically feeling him, it's simply how my heart has been touched, and through images he's given me... it's his presence that has been so strong and peace has just flooded my very being. I am after him and there is no stopping me.. i am learning to rest in God's love. to rest in his goodness. to just bask in the fact that i don't have to do anything. there is nothing that i can do to earn his love, or gain his favour. that i have his love, whether i want it or not. that he is in me because i believe. that is so mind-boggling. what? the God of the universe has chosen me. to love. to care for. to listen to. and walk alongside. he longs to have a relationship with ME. wow. i stand in awe of him and what i've already experienced in these 3 short weeks. God is so good.

forever 21.

Well folks i turn 22 tomorrow... and frankly i just don't want too. 21 is such a romantic age. and not romantic in the romance. boy meets girl sorta way. but in the adventuresome. like anything can happen. chase your dreams. catch fireflies. sorta way... i wish i could be 21 forever!i feel as though my youth is slipping away from me and i know. i know that's silly... because look on the bright side. twenty- two is much better than twenty- three after all... i mean what an age gap?! right? and twenty- three is far better than twenty-four and so on. but i just can't help but feel like there's so much left to do. so many more places to go. so many more things i ache to see. so many adventures yet to be had. and it's all happening too fast. and i just need life to slow down. for me to enjoy it. to soak it all in. i rarely look forward to my birthday - - - except when i was a kid - - - and maybe that's because i've never liked being the center of attention. or i've never felt like it was completely mine. (i have a twin) so it was about her too. it wasn't solely MY day... i also hate getting older. when you're young you want forever to be 'grown up' and then when you're finally all grown you want nothing more than to be young again... most birthday's in my teens i'd sit by the clock and count down the minutes until i was no longer a certain age. all the while repeating over and over to myself i'm 13 years old, i'm 13 years old, i'm still 13! and then 5:35am rolled around and i was no longer 13... to me it was sad... and yet i realize it's inevitable. and i realize age is fleeting. but i still want to hold on to the past. i'm a past dweller. i love to look at what's happened in my life. to reminisce. to replay memories over and over in my head. to grasp at the wonderfully candid straws of my life already lived. the moments that not only make up my life. but have shaped it so extraordinarily. and then i realize the year i had was remarkable. it wasn't wasted or missed. forgotten. or unwisely spent. it was exactly what i made it to be. it was my 21st year and i lived it with everything i had! i'm not disappointed. nothing is lost. life goes on and we all grow more mature. wiser.better looking. okay older too... it was a good year. besides - - - everyone grows old with you and i think that's the very best part of getting old!

but i still hope to always be in my heart... forever 21. xo karli.

logs & specks.

Someone once told me... the things you dislike in others are the very things you detest in yourself... i think he may be on to something... it's like that verse. the one about removing the log from your own eye. instead of the speck in your friends eye. focusing on YOUR downfalls. as opposed to picking apart those of your friends. i believe that what bothers us in others is most often what we long to change about in ourselves. yet we do so unaware. we think that they have the problem. the vice. the unflattering characteristic. but when it all comes down to it. we do. we are all the more ugly inside for how we judge others. although it doesn't account for everything... some things are unbearably bothersome in others because you wish they were MORE like you. still abhorring their downfalls yet in a different manner. we instead make them feel terrible for not feeling as we do. not looking like we do. not smelling. decision-making. problem- solving. joking. dancing. dressing as we do. we get SO upset and consumed in us.ourselves. you & me. simply because we want them to view life from our perspective. with our experience. with our habits. drive. dreams. desires. through our very eyes. instead of how they see it. but if that were the case. we'd all be robots. clones. and who wants to give up their individuality? not ME!

- - - Sometimes we long to mimic. to alter ourselves ever so slightly. to be who we would rather be. we're never satisfied with ourselves. but we have to be. we are who we are. and yes we can improve. get our hair done. paint our nails. go to the gym... but as cheesy as it sounds the inside is still the only thing worth anything. because it will show on the outside whether you try to conceal it or not. so focus instead on you when you catch yourself looking for the bad in others. dig deep into your soul and find the good. the dazzling. the unique. the quirky. the beautiful. the things that make you, you. find the changes you need to make. and make them. i think that once you find what makes you tick. what drives you. feeds your soul. life gets rosier. and i believe that when you find what you need to seriously work on, then life is much less dramatic and stressful. less picking apart. more building up and into the lives of those around you. much more fulfilling and friend-friendly. (like family-friendly :) logs are not only no longer found in the eyes of your best buds. but the specks have vanished from your own!

me & my best friends.

" just be yourself, everyone else is already taken"

xo karli rae.

make happy happen.

i've come to the conclusion. rather the discovery... that happy is a choice. yes it's an emotion too. but firstly it's something you mentally tell yourself that it's what you want to be. all life's hardest decisions stem from our most earnest desires. because we know what we want. but we either don't know how to get there. or we don't want to fail so we don't even try. but if we don't make a conscious effort to make them happen. they won't. they will slip through our fingers. and we will wonder why they never came to be.

...if we let happy slip away, than what is life but a dull. gloomy. cloud wrought with trouble and sorrow and pain. if best friends leave and boyfriends are dumped and the phone never rings. and depression we've decided is not an option. than happiness shall reign. for no amount of naps or tears. or lonely nights staring off into space will ever change your outlook if you don't change your heart. and your head. get up. dust yourself off. and move on. make happy happen. you are in your life already. you can't 'start' living it again. but you need to put your heart into living again.

- - - so happy is a choice. it's daily choosing to have a positive outlook at the wide world. to say i will not let the darkness hold me back. i will persevere. press on. fight for what i know and believe to be what i need. what i am missing. and cannot live without. it's my desire and wish to be happy. content. blithe. cheerful. giddy. delightful. filled with mirth. i want to exude happiness. to radiate with it.

to be truly happy is to love. and to SMILE. to LAUGH. to GIGGLE. to put the lives of others first. to look past yourself and say my happiness. my attitude. my ecstatic need to live and breathe for jesus is what will change the world. what will get me through the day. and not just through it. or make it simply bearable. but make me adore the day. praise the day. look at the day and say that was fantastic. let's do it again... each day is a gift. and happiness should be the way we choose to spend it.